Monday, October 4, 2010

Hey, I remember you!

So I wanted to talk about my rekindling with god. First, let me start by saying, I'm not the perfect Christian. I'm not, and I'll be the first to admit that I'm not. Of course, I don't know anybody who is. When I was in 4th grade, my aunt passed away from cancer, from there on I told myself, god no longer existed, and from there on out, he didn't. I still prayed to him, but my heart was not in it. Before she passed away, I went to church quite often. It just wasn't the same after she died. Through the years I just couldn't properly give my hear to him, nothing I said or did, worked, and after all the crap I dealt with, I just had no room in my life for him. I blamed him for every bad thing that happened to me. Then I realized, he's not hurting me, the people I surrounded myself around were hurting me, I was putting MYSELF in situations that were hurting me. God would never hurt me. 

I think one question that upsets me now, and I was guilty of asking it; " If there was a god, why does he allow all these bad things to happen to people?" First off, god gave us free will, we are our own worst enemy and if we have put ourselves in the position to get hurt, it's OUR fault. You know the best way to deal with those kinds of situations? Learn from them. That is how it works, we fall of the horse, we get back on. God wants us to make the right decisions. Now, if we're talking about things we simply cannot control, like cancer or something, that's different. God knew before you were even conceived, you would get cancer. He did not just "give" you cancer. Somehow, someway, it happened. Lets say you or somebody you know died from cancer, how do we know dying is such a bad thing? We all look at death in the wrong light, in my opinion. It's terrible for the living, for the ones mourning, because yes, we will miss that person, their physical being is gone, we won't be able to see or touch them anymore, but I believe in heaven, and I cannot imagine heaven being a terrible place. I think another thing that gets me now, is people who try to disprove god exists. Can't FEELING be believing? Is seeing really the only way to prove something is real? Maybe that sounds stupid, but ever since I gave my life back to Christ, my life FEELS fulfilled. My life is different, it just feels different. 

All I know, is that god has given me a second chance. He gave me a wonderful husband, and a miracle named Nora. That is how I know god exists.

By the way, no matter what you believe, if you're agnostic, atheist,  Jewish, Wiccan, w/e, I'm not judging you. I believe in freedom of religion. W/e fulfills your heart, and your life is fine with me =0)


  1. connecting with your personal spiritual beliefs is an amazing feeling. I'm glad you re-connected with your spiritual guide.